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Tethered, But Barely

 


https://open.spotify.com/track/3stWWPN41byqp8loPdy92u?si=JLj62piZTjSN_sLIsu8Oyg


Dear world, 



If somebody asked me what I feared the most, my first and only response would be: balloons. I know. There’s something about this helium filled vessel that gingerly moves around that I do not trust because just as you begin to enjoy its shape and colour it suddenly, without warning, explodes. You’re left with an afterthought, “why me?” and “why now?.” 


I think my fear stems from a deeper wound of emotional inconsistency. When somebody you love explodes, without warning, you are forced to step away. We are left perplexed, how could we know that we should expect this emotional reaction? Much like any birthday party, there is also the clean up. You pick up the rubber pieces of what was once a spectacle of entertainment, and you reminisce carefully about what you remember of the party as you slowly discard the pieces one by one, begrudgingly of course. 


Similarly, we begin to think about a time where who we loved was consistent, and sometimes, that memory is enough to make you discard the pieces of the eruption that just occurred. This isn’t a criticism, in fact I do think that sometimes the people you love do hurt you the most, and that forgiveness, alongside a personal effort to make amends is a testament to how meaningful the connection is to you. However, we are often blind to the consequences of frequent emotional inconsistencies. 


You begin to believe you’re a jack of all trades, and instead of trinkets; you trade first your care, then your forgiveness, and lastly you become the master of none, by trading in yourself as the final act of love. 


How do we know when emotional inconsistencies should be forgiven? How can you feel yourself slipping when you have traded yourself unknowingly? 


From Juhi


Comments

  1. AnonymousJuly 23, 2025 at 7:15 PM

    thanks a lot for sharing

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousJuly 23, 2025 at 8:01 PM

    I think being present and being emotionally consistent, or living in the moment, is just as important for well-being.

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousJuly 23, 2025 at 9:19 PM

    It’s at the point where we’ve given ourselves away that we discover who we are. In Farsi the word for love so deep it burns away the self is “Fanaa” and is the first stage of enlightenment

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousJuly 23, 2025 at 10:07 PM

    your writing inspired me to start writing for myself. I think I told myself that creativity was out reach, yet you simply writing here showed that it is possible to have a life and fill it with creativity.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. JuhiJuly 24, 2025 at 8:25 AM

      I am so glad! I would love to read what you’ve written sometime :)

      Delete

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