https://open.spotify.com/track/2OWeHRkB6kKDG0zq6egBPD?si=hkW3vH5GTEWjZWwtZQE2Dw
Dear World,
Today I purchased a random book with a coupon I had. Its title is “Strange News from Another Planet” and I had little rationale for purchasing the book, other than the small blurb at the back that claimed there was a zookeeper who could talk to animals- a life long dream of mine. It was a single book, A6, with nothing more but a white cover and a single copy on the shelf.
I was afraid, and had second thoughts at the counter as I went to pay. I shuffled, and even stepped back to reexamine the shelves. Why? Because the regret of purchasing a book I didn’t like was far too great a risk for me. Yet, I got it anyway.
It’s an interesting concept- that we’re afraid of unknown possibilities and then in the rare chance when they don’t go right, then we reaffirm our negative bias that tells us that our decision was undoubtedly going to go pear-shaped.
So when I told somebody that I loved them, got a confusing rejection, got told to move on, got told that I wasn’t good enough to pursue something I really wanted or my refusal to watch the same movie twice out of the fear of wasting my time- I managed to reaffirm to my bias that I was making the wrong move, or moving the wrong piece on the chess board.
As an avid chess player (I’m not), you have to sit with the weight of making the wrong move throughout the game, and although you can never erase it, it does get better. You may even still lose the game, but something about bouncing back from moving the bishop too soon manages to soothe your regret.
We were made to be dynamic, and move along even when we feel stuck in thick mud.
I was upset because I was neglected by somebody I thought could not afford to be in the position to neglect anybody- that’s why it hurts more when they did.
But sometimes you’re just a book on a shelf that everyone is afraid of but might be the best book they’ve ever read and would never know.
The fear of stepping into the unknown is a self fulfilling prophecy on both sides of the rejected opportunity,
So why then do we still not know how to move forward?
From Juhi
Nice blog.
ReplyDeleteI think for me to move forward I would need to be intentional and I would need to acknowledge how I am feeling and work through them. I would try and disconnect for some time so that I can move forwards and heal. I would write down my intentions clearly and celebrate myself.
Embracing and trying something new can be exhilarating!
ReplyDeleteLearning from a choice I made. I had allowed the fear of being scared hold me back from setting a boundary which is something different than what I would usually do. Negative bias sets in when we are faced with new choices which I guess is fine, I am still learning how to make good choices. I took a decision to move on from those that did not respect my time and a boundary I had for myself. It was hard at first, I was scared what that person would think and I had second guessed my choice but nevertheless I stuck to my decision and I had moved on. I feel so refreshed and refocused for making this choice. Now, I don’t regret it at all.
ReplyDeleteGreat piece with great insight!
ReplyDeleteIt’s good to try something new, at times taking risks makes us wiser, stronger and resilient.
ReplyDeleteThe truth is, not every move has to be the right move. You can make a choice, feel unsure, and still grow from it. You can be disappointed and still have made a brave decision. Life is not a perfect game of chess, you won’t always win, but you do get better at seeing the board.
ReplyDelete